freshprints | IC Inbox

Kirigiri-san? I hope I'm not catching you at a bad time...

[ All things considered, it's a bit later than Haru would typically stay awake: the text doesn't come in at the stroke of midnight, but it's somewhere close to that. It's possible that the more cat-like qualities of her Gembond may have something to do with it, keeping her a bit more nocturnal than she'd like...though, admittedly, that feels more like an excuse than anything else. After all, even without any monthly changes, it's fair to call Haru the mindful sort: the type to stay preoccupied with the thought of looking out for the little guy, whomever that may be...

So, in light of that, maybe it's not too surprising that she's feeling some kind of way, after seeing her own "little guys" off and out into the wide blue yonder. Things are certainly much quieter around her apartment, if nothing else...but whether that's because the bairns aren't there to make any noise, or because the girls that live there are a bit blue, is a bit tough to say.

It may be dark out, but Haru gets the feeling that Kirigiri is probably the sort to stay up late with her thoughts, as well. Maybe that's why... ]

In hindsight, this probably could have waited until morning, so I apologize if I'm keeping you. But I was wondering how you were doing, after all of this...

[ It isn't that she was worrying, necessarily, but Kirigiri's been on Haru's mind as much as the bairn they grew together has. Kirigiri may keep it cool, and play things a bit close to the chest, but Haru isn't a stranger to that...and for that reason, she feels particularly compelled to reach out. ]

[It's funny; she's usually the one sending late night texts, rather than being the one receiving them. But she hasn't been inclined to sleep much at night since even before her arrival in Sumarlok, and she's just settled in for a rare night alone — rather than wandering out to break into someone else's place and spend the night there instead — with a book and a coffee when she hears the chime go off.]

Okumura-san. No, it's not a bad time.

[It's also, she reflects, probably not a good occasion to answer I'm fine with no elaboration, so perhaps she shouldn't go that route.]

Though it sounds like I ought to be asking you the same question. Should I?

If you did, I have a small hunch that our answers would have some similarities, admittedly.

[ It wasn't too long ago, after all, that I'm fine would be her default, but she knows a bit better now. It's not difficult, these days, for a friend to coax the words behind a response like that out of Haru's lips, or her fingertips. She gets the feeling that Kirigiri would be able to do that too, if she tried.

But, then, isn't that simply being a friend? ]

For example, it's rather quiet here...which is fairly out of the ordinary, as you might imagine.

[ After all, Kirigiri's met Ann and Makoto; throw one more spirited teenage girl into the mix with Sumi, and it's probably not difficult to visualize that the apartment is a lively one, is it? ]

It's the sort of mood that makes it easy to get stuck in your own head, I think. [ And to think it wasn't very long ago, that she was warned against that. Too much contemplation... ] I was curious whether we had that in common, as well.

I don't usually sleep well at night. Other considerations keep me up.

[Which is...sort of an admission, maybe. Haru raises a good point, though, and one that makes her think — has she ever been called on being too far in her own head? Or was that in fact encouraged in her, just like all the other qualities that make her good at the exactly one thing her grandfather ever wanted her to do?]

I suppose I've never minded the quiet much either, though. I was raised to embrace it, so to me it feels familiar. But you strike me as someone who comes alive in a crowd; that's something I've never been able to do, myself.

I suppose I might have how I was raised to thank for that, as well. Truth be told, familiar as crowds are, there was a long while where I preferred quiet, myself. Keeping to myself came far more naturally to me than being among others did...

[ Unfortunately, impressions can be more important than not. And when you're raised on the principle that you're a reflection of your family, that you stand on the shoulders of those who came before you, you may not have the luxury of withdrawing away. There are always connections out there...for better or for worse. ]

It wasn't until rather recently that I realized it was more of a matter of the company I kept. If I had known people like the friends I have now back then, I probably would have felt differently.

If you have trouble sleeping through the night, though, I happen to know of a few tea blends that may help to put your mind at ease. I'd be happy to share them with you, if you feel as though you might benefit from that.

That's generous of you, Okumura-san. Normally I take coffee to keep myself awake...but that's just adding to the problem, isn't it?

Did you not have many friends as a child? That's something we have in common.

None that I was too close with, I'm afraid. There were acquaintances, of course, classmates of mine and other girls from dance practice, but...
It was always a bit difficult for me to cross that gap.
Mako-chan was the first close friend I'd ever made, but she and I only met late last year.

But ever since I met her, I've found it a bit easier to do that. Especially here, where it's closer to a fresh start, of a sort.
Since you seem to get along quite well with Nanami-chan, I trust it's the same for you, as well?

[ She'll have to tuck that coffee tidbit in her back pocket for later... ]

Nanami-san is...a unique case. She's the relative of one of my classmates, so I suppose you could say I feel a certain responsibility for her. I'd never met her before she came here, but once we discovered our mutual acquaintance, our friendship evolved.

Mm. This may sound superstitious, but a tragedy happened to the first close friend I ever made, so after that, I never wanted any others. But despite my best efforts, it turns out that there are some people in the world who are capable of winning over anyone — even someone as reluctant as me.

I suppose I'm grateful for that. If not for one person's influence, I doubt I would've been at all inclined to try to make friends with anyone, once I arrived here.

I'm sorry to hear that, Kirigiri-san...but I don't think it sounds superstitious at all. In fact, if something like that happened to a friend of mine when I was younger, I believe I might have felt similarly.

But I've experienced what you're talking about first-hand, myself. I happen to have met quite a few people just like the kind you describe...the persistent sort, who encourage you to take down your walls, no matter how much you think you've fortified them.

They're quite hard to come by, in my opinion. But I'm happy that you've managed to find a friend like that. If I hadn't, I have no doubt I'd be much worse off than I am now. Not only would I be friendless, but it's not an exaggeration to say I would be on a very different path, without ever knowing I had the strength to stand up for myself.

I feel the same way. Were it not for "that person"...quite simply, I would be dead.

Someone taught you to behave a certain way, didn't they? Something like, "girls should be seen and not heard". Something that discouraged you from having a voice.

For me, it was that I shouldn't be "seen" at all.

[ Raised to embrace the quiet... ]

It wasn't always that way. When I was small, my father used to be a rather kind man.
But power and greed tempted his heart, the larger his business grew.
By the time he began pursuing political office, I was nothing more than a piece on the board to him.
He made it a point for me to be "seen"...but mostly in ways and with crowds that would benefit him, and his company.

Thankfully, the situation isn't like that anymore.
I can only hope that things are different for you, now, as well.

A selfish father...is really the worst kind of person, isn't he?

I don't mean to suggest that it's a competition of any kind, but I have to wonder which would be worse: the father who wants his daughter only in the ways he finds useful, or the one who doesn't want his daughter at all.

Regardless of what anyone else might say or think, you're under no obligation to forgive him for that.

The question seems an impossible choice to me. And a cruel one, as well. Either way, the daughters are left to pick up the pieces.

I did want to forgive him, though. It was a silly dream of mine, but I had hoped that we could reconnect, after I stood up to him. That he would come to his senses and apologize, and that he would lead the company honestly, with help from me if he needed it...

He never did get the chance to do that. And there isn't a day that goes by where I don't think about it, though I know I probably shouldn't.

[ Alter Ego is typing...
Alter Ego is typing...
Alter Ego is typing...
Alter Ego is typing...
Alter Ego is typing... ]

What happened to him?

[ There's a fair bit of typing and backspacing on her end as well. A deep breath, before she hits the "send" button-- ]

He passed away last October.

To be more specific, he was killed.

It was a rather grisly affair. But thankfully, they were able to get a confession out of the culprit. He confessed to the crime on live television the next month...though, he wasn't the one who pulled the trigger.

As you can imagine, my feelings on the subject are rather complicated. There was a while where I had quite a lot of trouble sleeping, as well.

I would drink coffee at night, just like you do.

I'm sorry to hear that we're alike in this way as well, Okumura-san. And that I don't have any reassuring words for you, because I don't have any for myself, either.

It's unfortunate to have unfinished business with someone whom you'll never see again. It's one last cruelty, on top of all the others.

Unfortunate as it may be, I've been spending time finding closure in my own way. I have no doubt that the process is a different one for everyone, but...

I've been getting closer to starting that café of mine, and I can't help but think about him. Considering the way he carried his business, and where his priorities became in life, I don't believe he'd be particularly proud of me, and how I intend to run mine.

But I'd like to think that I've learned well from his errors. I've seen how he thought of his employees, and his company...and I'll carry it with me for as long as I live. As painful as it is, that my last memories of him are such upsetting ones, I'm going to remember the lessons that he taught me.
The ones I learned from watching him, I should say.
And I'm going to use them to follow my own road.

Funnily enough...Nanami-chan is the one who helped me realize that. During that festival with the lanterns, when we were all sending out our messages of forgiveness, she's the one who helped me write out what I wanted to say to him.

"Above all else, I shall treat others with kindness and respect."
I believe that's what we settled on.

You're going to spite him.

What a troublemaker you've turned out to be, Okumura-san. How very un-well-behaved of you.

[ Such a shame, that Kirigiri can't hear the way she starts to laugh to herself on the other end of the phone. ]

Quite the betrayal, wouldn't you say?
I've made my own goal for myself, and it's just about within reach now.

No more strings on me.

Genuinely, and without sarcasm — it's been interesting to hear your story, Okumura-san. In many ways it's similar to mine, and yet I can't honestly say I've ever had an aspiration that wasn't defined for me by someone else, in one way or another.

What is it like, to want something so much? The only goal I've ever pursued relentlessly is the uncovering of the truth — and once that's achieved, there's nothing to do but move on to the next enigma to be unraveled.

In fairness to you, I do think that uncovering the truth is a rather noble goal. Like justice, it often needs a champion: someone willing to pursue it to the end.
I hold plenty of admiration for people like that, yourself included, who are willing to stand in the face of people who try to distort facts to suit their own agendas...

If that's where your true passion lies, I believe you should follow it. If it is, I'm sure you'll know it. For me, it's the thing that sets me most at ease: the thought of pouring the perfect cup of coffee for a guest and seeing the satisfaction on their face...it simply feels right, in a way that nothing else does.
But if it's a matter of it being all you know...well, I would say that being here is probably a good opportunity for you to take advantage of. A chance to explore new interests, and follow them wherever they may lead.
You could find something else that keeps you up late at night...or, perhaps you could find that the siren of the next mystery is too tempting to resist.

Either way, you're doing something for yourself.

I don't know if I would call it a passion. A "talent", certainly, but I've seen firsthand that being skilled in something isn't inherently synonymous with an attachment to that quality.

[ganbatte leon you just wanted to be a rock star]

I wonder if I'm not a little bit afraid that the "truth" I'll discover about myself is simply that I'm not suited to anything else but what I already do.

It's difficult to embark on an adventure without knowing where to start.

Kirigiri-san, I don't intend to belittle your worries, but you have no way of confirming that fear until long after you take that first step. And in a case like yours, the road itself is just as important as whatever may lie at its end. Perhaps even moreso.

It may indeed be difficult. But do you not find the idea somewhat exciting, too? I must confess, I'm getting a bit eager on your behalf, simply thinking about it. To have so many options before you can be daunting, but the freedom to follow any of them as far as you'd like is a wonderful thing.

And step one needn't be towards anything groundbreaking, either. Try new things from zero at your own pace, simply for the heck of it, and challenge yourself to see how far you can go. I have a feeling that you might surprise yourself.

After all, for the sake of example? I wasn't flattering you when I said you were quite the natural dancer.

Leave it to Okumura-san, to tell me I'm wrong so considerately that I almost want to thank her for it. :)

Is it hard to get started with learning? Dancing?

Would it be presumptuous of me to say that I have the feeling it isn't often that you're told that, considerately or otherwise?

Getting started is probably the easiest part, though. You're a quick learner, so I have a feeling you'll pick up the fundamentals in no time. Taking it further than that and applying them is where the effort lies...

But I will say that it's quite fun. If you'd like, perhaps we could try a class together? I'm very much out of practice, so I have the feeling the refresher would be good for me.

IC Inbox | noctiumrp

text; un: tulipe (post-event, pre-tdm!)

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)