freshprints | IC Inbox

I'm sorry to hear that, Kirigiri-san...but I don't think it sounds superstitious at all. In fact, if something like that happened to a friend of mine when I was younger, I believe I might have felt similarly.

But I've experienced what you're talking about first-hand, myself. I happen to have met quite a few people just like the kind you describe...the persistent sort, who encourage you to take down your walls, no matter how much you think you've fortified them.

They're quite hard to come by, in my opinion. But I'm happy that you've managed to find a friend like that. If I hadn't, I have no doubt I'd be much worse off than I am now. Not only would I be friendless, but it's not an exaggeration to say I would be on a very different path, without ever knowing I had the strength to stand up for myself.

I feel the same way. Were it not for "that person"...quite simply, I would be dead.

Someone taught you to behave a certain way, didn't they? Something like, "girls should be seen and not heard". Something that discouraged you from having a voice.

For me, it was that I shouldn't be "seen" at all.

[ Raised to embrace the quiet... ]

It wasn't always that way. When I was small, my father used to be a rather kind man.
But power and greed tempted his heart, the larger his business grew.
By the time he began pursuing political office, I was nothing more than a piece on the board to him.
He made it a point for me to be "seen"...but mostly in ways and with crowds that would benefit him, and his company.

Thankfully, the situation isn't like that anymore.
I can only hope that things are different for you, now, as well.

A selfish father...is really the worst kind of person, isn't he?

I don't mean to suggest that it's a competition of any kind, but I have to wonder which would be worse: the father who wants his daughter only in the ways he finds useful, or the one who doesn't want his daughter at all.

Regardless of what anyone else might say or think, you're under no obligation to forgive him for that.

The question seems an impossible choice to me. And a cruel one, as well. Either way, the daughters are left to pick up the pieces.

I did want to forgive him, though. It was a silly dream of mine, but I had hoped that we could reconnect, after I stood up to him. That he would come to his senses and apologize, and that he would lead the company honestly, with help from me if he needed it...

He never did get the chance to do that. And there isn't a day that goes by where I don't think about it, though I know I probably shouldn't.

[ Alter Ego is typing...
Alter Ego is typing...
Alter Ego is typing...
Alter Ego is typing...
Alter Ego is typing... ]

What happened to him?

[ There's a fair bit of typing and backspacing on her end as well. A deep breath, before she hits the "send" button-- ]

He passed away last October.

To be more specific, he was killed.

It was a rather grisly affair. But thankfully, they were able to get a confession out of the culprit. He confessed to the crime on live television the next month...though, he wasn't the one who pulled the trigger.

As you can imagine, my feelings on the subject are rather complicated. There was a while where I had quite a lot of trouble sleeping, as well.

I would drink coffee at night, just like you do.

I'm sorry to hear that we're alike in this way as well, Okumura-san. And that I don't have any reassuring words for you, because I don't have any for myself, either.

It's unfortunate to have unfinished business with someone whom you'll never see again. It's one last cruelty, on top of all the others.

Unfortunate as it may be, I've been spending time finding closure in my own way. I have no doubt that the process is a different one for everyone, but...

I've been getting closer to starting that café of mine, and I can't help but think about him. Considering the way he carried his business, and where his priorities became in life, I don't believe he'd be particularly proud of me, and how I intend to run mine.

But I'd like to think that I've learned well from his errors. I've seen how he thought of his employees, and his company...and I'll carry it with me for as long as I live. As painful as it is, that my last memories of him are such upsetting ones, I'm going to remember the lessons that he taught me.
The ones I learned from watching him, I should say.
And I'm going to use them to follow my own road.

Funnily enough...Nanami-chan is the one who helped me realize that. During that festival with the lanterns, when we were all sending out our messages of forgiveness, she's the one who helped me write out what I wanted to say to him.

"Above all else, I shall treat others with kindness and respect."
I believe that's what we settled on.

You're going to spite him.

What a troublemaker you've turned out to be, Okumura-san. How very un-well-behaved of you.

[ Such a shame, that Kirigiri can't hear the way she starts to laugh to herself on the other end of the phone. ]

Quite the betrayal, wouldn't you say?
I've made my own goal for myself, and it's just about within reach now.

No more strings on me.

Genuinely, and without sarcasm — it's been interesting to hear your story, Okumura-san. In many ways it's similar to mine, and yet I can't honestly say I've ever had an aspiration that wasn't defined for me by someone else, in one way or another.

What is it like, to want something so much? The only goal I've ever pursued relentlessly is the uncovering of the truth — and once that's achieved, there's nothing to do but move on to the next enigma to be unraveled.

In fairness to you, I do think that uncovering the truth is a rather noble goal. Like justice, it often needs a champion: someone willing to pursue it to the end.
I hold plenty of admiration for people like that, yourself included, who are willing to stand in the face of people who try to distort facts to suit their own agendas...

If that's where your true passion lies, I believe you should follow it. If it is, I'm sure you'll know it. For me, it's the thing that sets me most at ease: the thought of pouring the perfect cup of coffee for a guest and seeing the satisfaction on their face...it simply feels right, in a way that nothing else does.
But if it's a matter of it being all you know...well, I would say that being here is probably a good opportunity for you to take advantage of. A chance to explore new interests, and follow them wherever they may lead.
You could find something else that keeps you up late at night...or, perhaps you could find that the siren of the next mystery is too tempting to resist.

Either way, you're doing something for yourself.

I don't know if I would call it a passion. A "talent", certainly, but I've seen firsthand that being skilled in something isn't inherently synonymous with an attachment to that quality.

[ganbatte leon you just wanted to be a rock star]

I wonder if I'm not a little bit afraid that the "truth" I'll discover about myself is simply that I'm not suited to anything else but what I already do.

It's difficult to embark on an adventure without knowing where to start.

Kirigiri-san, I don't intend to belittle your worries, but you have no way of confirming that fear until long after you take that first step. And in a case like yours, the road itself is just as important as whatever may lie at its end. Perhaps even moreso.

It may indeed be difficult. But do you not find the idea somewhat exciting, too? I must confess, I'm getting a bit eager on your behalf, simply thinking about it. To have so many options before you can be daunting, but the freedom to follow any of them as far as you'd like is a wonderful thing.

And step one needn't be towards anything groundbreaking, either. Try new things from zero at your own pace, simply for the heck of it, and challenge yourself to see how far you can go. I have a feeling that you might surprise yourself.

After all, for the sake of example? I wasn't flattering you when I said you were quite the natural dancer.

Leave it to Okumura-san, to tell me I'm wrong so considerately that I almost want to thank her for it. :)

Is it hard to get started with learning? Dancing?

Would it be presumptuous of me to say that I have the feeling it isn't often that you're told that, considerately or otherwise?

Getting started is probably the easiest part, though. You're a quick learner, so I have a feeling you'll pick up the fundamentals in no time. Taking it further than that and applying them is where the effort lies...

But I will say that it's quite fun. If you'd like, perhaps we could try a class together? I'm very much out of practice, so I have the feeling the refresher would be good for me.

People tell me I'm wrong, on occasion. They're usually wrong to say it, of course, but it does happen every so often.

I don't recall if you ever mentioned — what type did you do? There are different disciplines, aren't there? Is there one you find easier than others?

[ That sounds very much like her. ]

I took ballet lessons as a child up until my first year of high school, so that's what I have the most experience with. It has quite the reputation for being physically demanding, but if you asked me whether I thought it was worth learning, I would say it is. It gives you an awareness of your body that you wouldn't otherwise have. I've thought about trying again on more than one occasion, between you and me.

I took lessons in ballroom dancing as well, mostly for etiquette's sake. You may be more familiar with that form. I found it easier to pick up, but I'm certain that my experience with ballet is to thank for that. Because it's an activity for two, there's a conversation component to ballroom that's absent from ballet, which comes with its own challenges...as well as its own rewards.

I think of the two, I'd prefer to try ballet. It's more...solitary. I wouldn't have to rely on anyone else, for practice or the like.

Though I was under the impression that one couldn't be successful at ballet if training didn't begin within a certain window of time. Wouldn't I be too old?

That depends on how you'd like to define "success". It's true that many professionals start from a young age to get their bodies more accustomed to going en pointe, where they can support their body weight on the tips of their toes.

But it's not impossible for someone to start late and work up to that gradually. It will take effort, but it can certainly be done. And in any case, there's far more to ballet than pointe, so I wouldn't let that discourage you from trying at all.

If you fall in love with it, you can focus on building that support as you go, if you find an instructor willing to properly train you. Private lessons are quite beneficial for that. Let yourself learn, and I'm sure you'll go far.

Then I suppose you've convinced me. For better or for worse, if nothing else it's at least a place to start.

I don't suppose you'd be willing to help me with acquiring what I'll need for lessons.

I'd be happy to help you pick out the attire whenever you'd like, Kirigiri-san.

I'll make sure to bring the tea I mentioned earlier, as well. It wouldn't do for you to run on little sleep before your first class.

I'm used to running on little sleep, Okumura-san.

But I'm also well-versed enough in the concept of talent to know that novices do better when they heed the advice of those more experienced than them, so of course I'll try the tea.

IC Inbox | noctiumrp

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